


Ven Vampires Attack

by QuietFangirl



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 10:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10965753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietFangirl/pseuds/QuietFangirl
Summary: The famous trio joins up with an experienced tiefling bard and tackles The Curse Of Strahd. Shenanigans, insanity, and of course frustration at Ravenloft ensues.I hope you're not afraid of the dark, because our adventurers are walking right into it. It's...THE ADVENTURE ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!





	1. How it all begins...

Music wandered through the hallways on the moon base, mostly unseen by passersby. The Director's voice rose out of the intercoms. "Taako Tacco, Magus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, and Music, please come to the conference room at once." She sighed and walked to the conference room, where she found three unfamiliar humanoid people.

"Hello," a high elf greeted in the accent of New Elfington, "My name is Taako. I'm a wizard. These are my compatriots Magnus and Merle. Magnus here is a rough boy and Merle is the religious voice of reason."

Music scanned the trio. Taako was a high elf, obviously, and he carried a large umbrella over one shoulder. He looked like someone that never revealed his actual intentions. Magnus was a large human man rippling with muscles carrying a multitude of intimidating weapons. He bore impressive sideburns and a slightly less impressive beard. Merle was a short and fat dwarf with a white beard and bald head. He waved one wooden arm and smiled.

"My...Name...Is...Music." She spoke slowly and condescendingly to the group, keeping her arms crossed. "I...am...a...musician."

"Ah, you're all here," The Director said, "We have discovered an extremely dangerous item in the possession of Strahd Von Zarovich. It is an artifact, but our informant died before he could finish telling us about it. It is a very dangerous mission, so I will need you all to get prepared. You have twenty minutes."

Music headed out to her room and threw together a chest of her equipment. A rapier, viol, entertainer's pack, her lovely spare set of bardic clothes, a small knife, and her small bag of items from her past that she never left home with. She entered the terminal where the transportation was kept and sighed. The three were already standing there chatting with Avi the guard.

"Oh there you are," Merle nearly rasped at Music's approach. Her wooden chest of items scurried behind her on hundreds of tiny feet. "We were getting worried. Let's go."

"Where...is...our...destination?" Music asked, climbing into the sphere.

"Some place called Barovia," Magnus explained gruffly. "None of us know much about it, to be honest."

Music sucked in a breath. "No. No...fucking...way. That...place...is... **bad**."

"Oh don't worry, we can call a friend to help." Taako shrugged nonchalantly as Music took the pilot seat. "He's the best boy detective in all of, well, everywhere."

"We are **not** bringing in a child!" She exclaimed emphatically, speaking at a regular speed for the first time.

The rest of the trip was an awkward silence. They finally landed in a forest with trees looming overhead, sunlight from the sunset filtering through the leaves. A young boy sat on a nearby bench holding a thick book, and he perked up as the orb landed.

"Hey guys!" the kid chirped excitedly. "Oh, uh, there's a new person here. My name's Angus McDonald, the World's Greatest Boy Detective! What's your name?"

Music sized up the young child, with his springy black hair, darker skin, schoolboy outfit and feathered cap, and wide-rimmed circular glasses. "I am Music, a bard. Pleasure to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too!" Angus smiled back, bouncing to his feet. "Come on, an inn is this way! We can stay there overnight!"

The larger group walked through the forest as the sun set almost unnaturally fast. A thick fog misted over all of them, obscuring almost everything in sight. The trees became ghosts, dark gray soldiers standing immobile in the gloom. As the fog cleared, everyone slowly noticed that the trees, which were solid oak before, were now wickedly sharp pine. The sky was now heavily overcast, giving a new feel of danger and darkness. This, Music knew, was Boravia.


	2. And so it begins...

"This...is...Barovia," Music announced gravely. An eerily quiet silence blanketed the party. Barovia was bleak, from the evergreen forests ringed with mist so thick no one could see through it. Angus opened his book of clues and found all the recent pages filled with words such as "Danger", "turn back", and most ominously, "Welcome to my empire." The boy frowned. "Careful...what...you...cast...here. Spells...are...altered," Music continued.

"What do you mean?" Taako asked curiously. Music cast the cantrip  _Mage Hand_ in response. Instead of the ethereal human hand that was normally summoned, she created a skeletal hand in its place. "So that's it." 

As the group trudged forward, they saw a caravan of people in brightly colored clothes, a large contrast to the oppressive atmosphere. "Ho travelers!" a lady driving horses at the wagon front called out. "It's dangerous to travel without someone who knows the way! Come, rest with us!"

The caravan unpacked and the party joined them. "My name's Lily," the lady introduced, "And these people are my family. That's Jason, Matt, Millicent, and Castor. Ross and Baby Alex are in the wagon."

"Wow, can you tell us anything about this land?" Merle rasped. Lily glanced at her family members doubtfully, and they shrugged.

"I would recommend you find yourself a path soon," Lily advised, "And avoid the old windmill between Barovia village and the town Vallaki. Along the Old Svalich Road there are three main settlements: Krezk, Vallaki, and Barovia. The people in the villages are mostly soulless. They don't know anything besides fear."

"Fear of what?" Magnus responded almost immediately.

The people traded some odd glances before Lily continued. "Lord Strahd. He keeps a protective watch over everyone through a number of creatures. He conquered this land and named it after Lord Barov, his father. He's been forever chasing a peasant girl named Tatyana, but that was long ago."

"Anything else?" Merle asked. Lily shook her head solemnly.

"We can offer some maps to help," Castor offered, walking over with a stack of papers in their arms. "We're over here, in the east section of Svalich Woods. If you go due north," they handed a compass to Angus, "you'll reach Old Svalich Road, which will take you to the more civilized sections of Barovia."

"Thanks!" Magnus smiled. The party walked north to the trail. The ground was thick black mud with puddles as still as mirrors. Branches of the pine trees loomed over the path like claws pawing at the open air. They walked along the path. Eventually they reached a rusted iron gate held up by solid stone pillars with two gigantic armored guards standing sentry outside. As they approached, they saw that the two guards were headless with the heads covered in weeds at their feet. The gates opened with an ear-splitting screech, and a man stood inside the gates with fifteen wolves sitting at attention around his feet.

The man sized up the group evenly, pausing on Music momentarily. "I am Strahd Von Zarovich." The wolves stood up in unison and encircled the party. With very little warning, Strahd cast a spell. Taako, Merle, Magnus, and Angus all collapsed. Music narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"What do you want?" She asked challengingly.

Strahd didn't respond and instead lunged at the tiefling, catching her off guard. She fell to the muddy ground, pinned. He bit at her throat, but she thrashed enough to escape the attack. The weight was lifted off of her as Magnus dragged him off. Taako was holding the wolves at bay with help from Merle, who had utilized the trees to form a wall. Music retreated with Angus as Strahd backed off, taking his wolves with him.

"Hey dipshit!" Taako yelled at his back. Strahd paused momentarily and turned. "Abraka-FUCK YOU!" The umbrella unfurled as three bolts of white hot arcane energy streaked through the foggy sky, all three hitting squarely at his chest. Strahd scoffed and vanished.

Music straightened up. "We...survived."

"This place will be easy!" Magnus laughed confidently. Everyone else shushed him almost immediately. 

"Don't say that, dude," Merle pleaded, "A jinx is the last thing we want here."


End file.
